


The Wandering Bastard

by Moskoftw



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:54:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24226927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moskoftw/pseuds/Moskoftw
Summary: Jon decides he is tired of Winterfells same atmosphere and looks to explore the world.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 29





	1. Thoughtful Bastard

Chapter 1: Thoughtful Bastard

The cold draft of the library was a surprisingly welcomed comfort for Jon. Not that he particularly liked reading it just meant that he was in the library. While Winterfell's library was not the most grand in the seven kingdoms it was seldom used and that meant it was a place he could get away. Jon could honestly say he had a fine life especially for a bastard like himself. That's right Jon Snow the bastard of Winterfell can honestly say his life was fine. His father cared about him, his brother Robb never saw him any different no matter how old they got. Arya was the best little sister he could ask for; she was wild and rebellious yes, but fiercely loyal and protective of him. Sansa's relationship was a little saddening to him for she took to her mother's teachings like a moth to a flame and listened to her blindly. That led to her having a strong disliking towards him for no real reason. Bran and Rickon were amazing little brothers, it was always nice to help Bran on the training yard or just entertain him. Little Rickon was too young to understand what a bastard was so he just loved to play with Jon. 

Truthfully there was only one problem for him in Winterfell's walls and that was his Lord father's wife Lady Catelyn. She truly despised him reasons he could not control. If she hated him for a slight he did at her he could understand maybe even sympathise with her, but no she hates him for the fact that he exists. She hates him for he is the only stain on the great Lord Stark's honor. The truly sad part is that isnt even the real reason she hates him, no she hates him because he is proof his father loved a woman before her. Loved her enough to take the child they had together with him home damn the ridicule he would get. That was a huge reason he respected his father so much for although he wont tell him his mother's name he knows he loved her and him enough to take care of him. Lady Stark, for as much as he may secretly hate it she was his father's wife, liked to make his life as hellish as possible. She was the lady of the house so the servants had to listen to whatever she said unless his Lord father made a direct command. She used her standing to hamper him as much as she can. From the fact she told the maids not to clean his room or if she is feeling extra spiteful to ask the serving wenches to give him smaller portions. The southern servants she brought with her would openly mock or glare at him for his bastard title while the northern maids would send him looks of piety. Sadly even if the maids wanted to report her behavior they were all too scared to turn against the lady of the house. 

So although Jon would admit that his life could be much worse it sometimes all became too much. Over the years he became mostly accustomed to the glares and suddle, sometimes not so suddle, jabs at him from not only Lady Stark but some of the southern servants or just servants trying to curry favor. When he was younger they truly hurt him, but now he can mostly shrug them off. Yet every once in a while the glares and looks of pity could be too much and he would need an escape, so he came to the library a place nobody beside the Master really used. 

So here he sat in the coroner of the library reading a book titled “9 Wonders of the World and Other Locations To Explore” By Master Cebrain. It was a book he read hundreds of times each time imagining what it would be like to see and visit these places. It was something he had been planning or at least fantasizing about for awhile now, leaving Winterfell's cold snowy winters, mild chilly summer snow storms and seeing the world. First he would explore all of Westeros, see the mountains in the Vale, the rivers of the Riverland, plains of the Westernlands, capital of the Crownlands, the fields of the Reach, the cliffs of the Stormlands, and the sand dunes of Dorne. Then he would see all Essos has to offer. 

There wasn't much stopping him from doing exactly that going off and exploring. As a bastard as bad as it could be sometimes it did give him a lot more freedom then his trueborn siblings. One problem was getting the coin he would need to be able to live on the move, not being able to settle down long enough to make decent coin. Although he had been saving up his only hope for making coin on his journeys would be guardian lords that are traveling the way he wants to go. The other problem, the more stressing and immediate problem is his family. He knew his father and brothers would be strongly opposed to him leaving especially since he was still a moons from his ten-and-five nameday. His father although always having the stern and emotionless face truly loved his kids. He would make a fuss of him leaving. Jon and Robb have always treated each other like twins though Robb is a few moons older. Robb definitely wouldn't want him to leave; he always said Jon would be by his side when he became the Lord of Winterfell. Bran and Rickon would probably be a bit too young; he was leaving for a long time possibly forever for a while. Lady Catlyn would be elated to know the stain on her and Lord Stark's honor is finally leaving. Sansa sweet innocent Sansa would feel happy just because her mother was happy. Then there was Arya. Her reaction to the news scares him the most. It was common knowledge that he was her favorite in the family. He was the one she came to late at night when she had nightmares not there father. It was he she sought safety from. He knew she would want to come, but he also knew he couldn't take her. She would probably hate him for a while then she would be extremely saddened by his leave. He truly didn't know how she would be in the end. 

Then, like thinking of her summoned her to him. He heard Aryas voice ring out from across the table “You read that book so much I bet you could recite it word for word.” Momentarily surprised by the fact she walked so silently, then remembering how sneaky his pipsqueak of a sister could be he replied “Shouldn't you be with you Septa for lessons” before looking up at her. Truly she was quite the short kid at 10 name days old only 4 foot 2 inches, her brown hair pulled into a messy braid that barely goes past her neck. She had a rounded face with eyes a similar shade to his, dark grey though in certain lights his look almost a dark indigo. Her normally pouty lips were twisted along with the rest of her face into an annoyed expression at the mentioning of Septa Mordane. She had a light blue thick cotton shirt that was needed to ward off the summer chills of the North. The shirt was tucked into if he saw right an old pair of his worn brown leather pants, and lastly a sturdy pair of boots he knew she took from Bran for her mother would never let her own those. “Father wants you, idiot” she said with the annoyance she felt lacing her voice. Jon had to hide his chuckle when he replied “ Aye, I will head there immediately.” As Jon stood up Arya stuck her tongue at him and kicked his shin yellin “Idiot” before running out with a laugh when he yelped from the pain. Jon chuckled again as he walked towards his father's study across the keep all the while wondering different ways he could get his father to allow him to leave Winterfell to go on his journey. 

It took Jon less than three minutes to get to his father's solar where he knocked on the door. During the walk there he truly couldn't think of a way to broach the subject without just outright asking if he could leave Winterfell. Just as he was about to get lost in his thoughts again, or brood as his siblings liked to tease him about, his father's stern voice called out “Enter.” Jon walked into his father's solar room; it wasn't the biggest room, maybe 150 square feet. The desk was a big old wooden desk with the front facing the door. It had papers in neat piles stacked on it. Above it sat Ice the valyrian steel sword that belongs to house stark. It is nearly six feet tall and wider than a man's hand. Since it's made of valyrian steel it has the distinct smokey ripple pateron the metal.The left wall was almost completely covered by a bookshelf filled with ledgers and other things needed to run Winterfall. A bear skin rug covered the space in front of the desk where two chairs sit that are for visitors. The right wall has the fireplace that is constantly during winter, but now it is just ash filled above it sat a map of the North, the biggest of the seven kingdoms. “Please sit Jon,” Ned said, breaking Jon out of his admiration of the room. Jon sat at one of the chairs and looked up at his father Eddard “Ned” Stark. Ned was taller than most men standing at 5 foot 11. He had brown hair that went to the nape of his neck, the sides pulled to the back to keep it out of his face. Although he was only thirty-and-two name days he had grey streaks going through her hair most likely from the stress of running the largest kingdom in Westeros. His face was seemingly always set in that same stern expression. His dark grey eyes had crows feet forming on their edges. A mildly thick brown beard covering his cheeks and chin. He had a pristine grey cotton shirt under a leather jerkin. He had seemingly new brown leather pants tucked into sturdy polished black boots. “Hello father Arya said you called me” Jon said as he sat down across from his father. He was curious as to why his father called him to talk to him alone. Normally his father would call them all into a room if he needed to talk to them. “As you know your name day is coming soon and I would like to know what you wish to receive” his father said while still signing documents on the table. 

This was his moment Jon knew it. He could ask to be able to leave, to go explore the world. He knew he would have to be careful in how he goes about asking him. “Father” Jon started “as you know I will be turning ten-and-five pracricaly a man grown. I feel I need to find myself, see the world, find out what I…” Jon was stopped half way through his speech by his father's slightly curious yet still form voice “You wish to leave.” Jon really should have expected his father's blunt reply yet it still took him off guard before he recovered and said a simple “Yes.” His father then frowned slightly at the corner of his lips just barely turning down and stated “if Catelyn said something to you Jon....” before trailing off like he was expecting an answer. Jon seemingly not wanting to disappoint answered immediately “No father… it is just I want to see the world and try to find my place in it.” That seemed to be the right thing to say for the frown was gone immediately and there was a light of understanding alight in his dark grey eyes. “Yes I can understand that wanting it was something that drove me to stay at my foster in the Eyrie longer sadly there aren't many places willing to foster a well... someone like you” Ned said somewhat sadly towards the end. Jon showed slight discomfort on his still hairless face before his face too was stoic and simply replied “I was hoping to do more something along the lines of just wandering and seeing the whole world not just small parts of it.” This time there was surprise and slight sadness evident in not only Ned's face but his voice to “Y-You wish to leave Westeros.” Jon was quick to reply with “Not right away father, I wish to see what all Westeros has before leaving.” Ned's face once again sat in its impassive expression when he replied “ I see my son I will have to think this over please I will call you when I have made a decision.” And just like that Jon was dismissed from his father's solar. Jon thanked his father before he turned around and left Ned sitting there with a thoughtful expression. Although his Father hadn't given him the okay he also hadn't dismissed the idea which had Jon leaving there happier than he has been in awhile.


	2. Fathers Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned think about Jon leaving Winterfell

Chapter 2: Fathers Decision 

Ned truly didn't know how to feel. When he called Jon in to his solar to discuss what he would receive on his name day he expected to be asked for a new sword or armor. Not to be allowed to leave the safety that Winterfell provided him. He could understand Jons want for leaving to explore the world, for he had that same want as a young lad. Of course back then his older brother Brandon was alive and he didn't have to worry about learning to be the next Warden of the North. So he asked his father to foster him somewhere, and he got his wish when he was sent to foster at the Eyrie. That period of time in his life was his favorite. He didn't have to worry about much, just live out his youth with a man he would have considered his brother in all but blood Robert Baratheon. Back when he was just a second son, when his brother and sister were still alive, before the war. Ned had to stop himself from delving too far back or else he would need more ale before he goes to bed. Even though Ned might not show it as much as some he truly did love his children. He was so proud of how they were growing up. Robb was becoming a truly honorable young man, Sansa, his proper little girl that he loved so much. Even Arya his wild wolf, reminded him so much of his sister Lyana from her rebellious mischievous personality to her looks. He knew she was a handful and would only become worse as she grew, but she never failed to bring entertainment to his day. Young Bran was all bright and curious about the world. Little RIckon was just a perfect baby he could ask for. Jon had always been a curious child. As a toddler he would always get away for his nannies and try to see all that Winterfell has. Ned would honestly not be surprised if Jon knew more of Winterfell's secrets then he did. 

Ned was conflicted on what to do with Jons request. His fatherly instincts were flaring up telling him to deny him right away, that he was still too young to go off on his own. Yet his more rash mind is also telling him to consider all the facts presented to him. He knew Jon had always been more of a lone wolf liking to take challenges and problems and solve them on his own. Eddard found this out the hard way when he found out that the maids were no longer cleaning Jons room. When Ned found out his wife had dared to tell the servants to not clean his room it had made him livid. Not just that she could be so petty as to tell servants to not clean a ten nameday old boys room, but that when he confronted her about it she had the audacity to try and say “She was teaching the bastard life skills.” He had been so close from striking her from the obvious hatred she held when she called his son a bastard, but he didn't because he was a kind and honorable man. He had waited a week for his son to come and tell him so he could explain what happened and let him know he would set it straight. Yet he never did, instead Jon learned the ins and outs of cleaning his room. Jon never once asked for help; he just learned to adapt and overcome his situation. So rational Ned knew Jon was probably the most mature of his children, but he also knew that the outside world was a dangerous place. 

Outside the protective walls of Winterfell lies the real world. A place where bandits and cutthroats could lie in wait at every corner. Jon wanted to see the world to know its joys, but that also means he will find its dangers. Ned knew Jon was good with a blade better than even Robb when it came to that, the Old Gods know how much he has heard Catelyn complain about that. He has seen Jon use a blade and knew that given time and the right training he could become one of the best swordsmen in the Seven Kingdoms. Jon didn't have the bigger stocky build of the Northerners, he was more lean and compact. When he used a blade he made it look like he was dancing with how fluid and smooth he would go through the motions. Jon was also a very observant fighter, able to find his opponents weak spots and capitalize on them. Although only ten-and-four namedays old he could hold his own in spars with some of the more seasoned Winterfell guards. Ser Rodrick the current Master-At-Arms said Jon would make a fine replacement for him when he decided to retire. Yet at the end of the day that was all they were spars Jon had yet to actually fight to survive and have to kill to succeed and that scared Ned. He did not want Jon to freeze up after a kill and be struck down due to it. Ned could still remember the anguish he felt when he first realized he ended the life of one of the Mountain clansmen that attacked him at the Moon mountain during his fostering at the Eyrie. The uncertainty of what could happen worried Ned. Sure he knew Jon could handle himself against a common bandit, but bandits usually fought in groups and fought dirty. Two things Jon wasn't really used to facing. 

Another big thing he had to take into consideration is how his family will take the news of Jon leaving perhaps forever if the worst should happen. He knew he would be saddened by his leaving. Jon was his son and to see him training and with Robb or bantering with his siblings has always brought him joy. Robb would Jons leave hard. Robb and Jon had always been as close as brothers can be. There wasn't much that one of them had done that the other wasn't there to witness. Although they would have fights every once and awhile they always made up. Robb also would often go th JOn for council as Jon was the more calm and analytical of the two. The only real constant point of contention between the two is over his ward Theon Greyjoy. Theon was the only living son of Balon Greyjoy, Lord of the Iron Islands and his unofficial hostage to keep Balon from trying another rebellion after the one he held 4 years ago failed. While Robb found the slightly older boy entertaining and fun to be around, Jon found his arrogant and perverse personality annoying. As such Theon had caused small fights between the brothers to arise over the years, luckily they are always resolved quickly. Sansa wouldnt be distraught if Jon left. They never really got along together well, sadky that is mostly due to his wife. Truthfully Sansa has always been a mama's girl always wanting to please her mother. That led to Sansa seeing how her mother treated Jon and doing her best to replicate it. Though he believed or at least hoped that if he did allow Jon to leave Sansa would be at least a little sad. Ned already knew Arya would take it the hardest. It was no secret by any means that Jon was Arya's favorite by a longshot, another thing his wife would nag him about at times. He didn't know if she would be sad or angry first, but he knew she would be both at some point. Worse yet he didn't know if she would be more mad at Jon for leaving or him for letting him. He knew she would probably beg him to let her go with Jon and get even more mad when she realized she couldn't go. Then she would probably be inconsolable when Jon was actually gone. He just hoped that if he does let Jon go he would send letters back to help cheer Arya up. Bran would be saddened to, Bran has always looked up to his older brother and to know one of them was leaving would hurt him. Though he would probably be quite excited to learn of Jons adventures. Baby Rickon would be too young to even remember Jon sadly. All he would have to remember him would be stories his siblings would tell him. Then there was his wife. Ned honestly didn't know how to feel about his wife most of the time. 

Ned really does love his wife. They may have only married so he could secure the Riverland during the rebellion, but he has come to love her over the years. Yet Jon has always been a sore spot for them. He could understand her disliking towards Jon. He may not like it but he could understand where it came from. No Lady would like if their Lord Husband had a bastard let alone brought it home to leave with his trueborn children. The problem with it is she never really addressed it with him; she would just complain about Jon on every little thing and get mad. Eventually she let her dislike towards Jon turn to an irrational hatred for something Jon could not control. There have been many times she has overstepped her bounds when it came to Jon and he would have to reprimand her. So although he does love her, her hate for Jon has led to many fights over their years together. He knew she would be happy to finally be rid of the bastard as she sees it, but she would also probably be mad he wasn't sending Jon to the Night's Watch as she has suggested before. 

Ned also knew as dangerous and bad leaving Wintrfell could be it could also be very good for Jon. Leaving Winterfell would give Jon a chance to get away from his wife and find himself. Ned knew as much as Jon tries to hide the words and looks his wife sent him hurt him. As much Ned wants to stop Catelyn from feeling that way, if he knew if he were to try to force Catelyn to like Jon it would only turn out worse in the end. If Jon left he would be able to grow as a person without Winterfell's atmosphere constricting him. It was with that thought that Neds decision was made. He would let Jon go out into the world and find himself, Ned just needed to make some arrangements before he left. 

If he were to let Jon leave he would need to make sure he was prepared or at least aware of what exactly he could face out there. He would let Jon leave after his ten-and-five name day so they could celebrate that together. That would also leave him enough time to make sure he learns what he needs to. He would have Ser Rodrik start helping Jon learn to fight multiple people at once. He would also have Ser Rodrick show him some of the more dirty moves people would try on him. Ned would also need to give Jon some coin to live off of for the start of his journey. Make sure Jon had at least the start of his journey planned so he wouldn't just be wandering aimlessly. Ned would also have to set Jon down and let him know he could always come home. That he would always have a place in Winterfell, that they were family and no amount of distance and time could change that. Of course he would do the smart thing and let Jon tell his siblings he is leaving, no way he was going to break that piece of news. With his decision made Ned decided now would be a good time to take a break of all his paperwork. With That in mind NEd got up and walked out of his solar only to be surprised at the revelation that it was already dark out and most residents of the castle were asleep. He let out a slight chuckle about how deep he was in thought to not realize just how late it got before changing direction and heading to his bedroom to go to end the day.


	3. Bastards Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is like the training ark that can be really annoying if you don't like them. Although sometimes annoying you need them for plot development and an explanation to why Jon can fight so good in later chapters. Also Jon breaking the news to his family.

Chapter 3: Bastards Start

Jon can not remember many moments in his life he was as excited as he is now. Getting his first sword with Robb, or back when he was little and all the kids including Sansa would go out and play in the Godswoods come very close if not sit at the same level as this moment. It was his ten-and-five nameday, but that was not even what really excited him; it was the fact that he got to leave in the morning. Jon was so excited he awoke three hours before he usually does, which is early considering he usually rises with the sun. Though it could be the phantom pain his body still feels after the hellish training his father had him take on with Ser Rodrick after he agreed to let him go. 

Him and Robb had been training with Ser Rodrick since they were allowed to swing the sword. Yes a more experienced household guard may have substituted for him if Ser Rodrick was busy, but it had really always been Ser Rodrick that trained them in swordplay. As such when his father said that in order to be allowed to leave like he wanted he would have to take extra lessons from Ser Rodrick it would be fine. Yet this training was like nothing he had been put through before, he would start it off with the same motions he and Robb would always do but have to use a weighted practice sword. Then Ser Rodrick would have him spar with multiple house guards at once. Learning to fight multiple people at once was a lot harder than he originally thought it would be. He quickly learned his style of focusing on one opponent and breaking down their style for weaknesses was giving him tunnel vision and making him an easy target for the other people fighting him. Ser Rodrik also saw this and started implementing a method of throwing rocks that he would have to dodge as he did the normal swinging routines to help his spatial awareness. Although getting hit constantly with rocks frustrated Jon to no ends at the start he also noticed by the sixth day of the training he was almost never getting hit with the rocks. So by time the third and last week of the training came to a close he could hold his own against four different household guards at once. By no means could he beat them, every time he got close to taking one out the others would swarm him and not allow him to deal the finishing strike. Jon did take solace in the fact that the common bandits and cutthroats he faced later on would not be as well trained and versed on teamwork as the household guards of the Warden of the North are.

Then there was the part Ser Rodrick liked to jokingly refer to as “How Bandits Fight for Dummies” which mainly consisted of him throwing or kicking loose dirt at his face. There were also the occasional attempts at biting and spitting thrown in here and there. That course was much easier to get down then fighting multiple people at once. He learned to read the signs of when Ser Rodrick was going to pull his dirty shots. If he was going to try to kick dirt at him he would back up a little and drag his foot onto the ground to loosen the dirt for him. All Jon would have to do is try to maneuver Ser Rodrick to stand on a more solid dirt. He could also see when Ser Rodrick planned to bite or punch him because his legs would tense in preparation for a lunge yet his sword would stay in a defensive position. All Jon would have to do then is prepare to either step back or go in for astrike depending on how he feels at that moment. It was quite easy to pick up on these things because he naturally already tended to break down his opponents fighting styles and find the weaknesses and repetitions in them. After seeing the patterns appeared in Ser Rodricks new fighting style it was just about finding effective counters to them, which he could confidently say he got for the most part after a while. Lastly, to finish off his new training Ser Rodrick would have him sprint back and forth between the sides of the training ground till he felt like collapsing. Although he knew the training did help him the aches his body seemingly still felt after a week of rest tended to rethink if it was worth it.

Not only did the training bring him pain it brought him the attention of his siblings. It was Robb who noticed the difference first. When Jon started getting questioned by Robb about his training changing it became hard not to tell him without looking suspicious. The only reason Jon didn't tell Robb was because both he and his father decided it would be best to tell them all just a few days before leaving so he could enjoy the last few days with them without the fallout of the news he is leaving. Though he suspected Arya knew something was going on with the suspicious looks she was sending him. She also kept asking him weird questions like whether he would be there for her next nameday. It was becoming harder to doge her and Robbs questions so he was glad he would be telling them today. 

A knock from his door pulled Jon out of his absence, which also alerted him to the fact that he had seemingly sat in his bed mulling over his thoughts for an hour or two. A quick enter from Jon as he got out of bed brought his smiling brother into his room. Robb was as he heard some of the servants say the most charming Lord in the North. Standing two inches taller than him and 5 foot 8 he had his mother's Tully coloring. His brother had loosely curled hair similar to his, but he has it cropped close to his head so they don't look as curled as they are. He had the bright blue eyes that his dark auburn hair helped to bring out. Though he had his mother's coloring he definitely had their fathers northern build shown in his strong pronounced jaw and stocky build. His face also had a little stubble that he refused to cut saying he will grow the greatest beard in the whole north. He was wearing a light blue cotton long sleeve shirt under his tanned leather jerkin. On his jerkin right above his heart he had a silver direwolf head the symbol of House Stark. He had matching pants tucked into his leather boots. A brown cloak was draped over his back as a last touch. With a teasing smirk still on his face showing his pearly whites Robb said “Excited for your nameday little brother.”

Jon couldn't stop the small grunt or sarcastic reply of “Yes I do hope I get the pony I always wanted” from coming out. 

Robb let out a small laugh as he said “Didn't mean to interrupt your brooding, but I figured I would come get you before Arya broke down your door to see you.” 

Jon didn't reply but let an amused smile appear on his face as he finished putting on his black pants and reached for his recently polished boots. Jon stood up to but on a cloak similar to Robbs before looking at himself in the mirror. Jon stood at 5 foot 6 with seemingly black hair that was lightly curled hanging freely. He had dark eyes that in certain lights would almost look indigo. His face was clean shaven which showed his slightly higher cheekbones. Unlike his brother's more stocky build he had a more lean figure. He was wearing a dark grey shirt and a plain leather jerkin on

Jon never really liked to stand out which showed from his darker clothes to the fact he quite enjoyed how small his name day celebration was each year. It was something only the family was at. It was nice for him they would eat at the high table and the people he truly valued were there. Even Lady Cateyn was more cordial on his nameday. Jon turned around and he and his brother walked out to the training yard where Bran and Arya were arguing about who was the better archer. Bran is a 9 nameday old boy that stands at 4 foot 5. He has rusty auburn hair that hangs freely and bright blue eyes, he was wearing a roughed up shirt that showed he had been playing for a while. He had brown pants tucked into his boots. Though the minute Arya saw him she jumped up and hugged him. After Arya and Bran wished him a happy name day he and Robb decided to hang out with them till their father called them in for dinner. Jon and Robb were dragged around Winterfell for the rest of the day as Arya and Bran caused mischief wherever they went. It was already getting dark out by the time a servant came to get them telling them their father was waiting for them at the dining hall.

As they got to the dining hall they saw that their father, Lady Stark, Sansa, and Rickon were already seated and there were plates waiting for them. Sansa looked like a copy of her mother. For a girl of only ten-and-one namedays she was quite tall standing at 4 foot 10. SHe had long auburn hair that was braided into a standard northern braid that reached her mid back. She had bright blue eyes that shined with inocentes as she wore a light blue dress that matched them. Little Rickon though only a single nameday old has darker hair than Bran and has navy blue eyes. He was wearing a dark grey shirt and brown pants. 

After they had sat down and Jon got a happy nameday from Sansa and a happy giggle from Rickon, they ate in a comfortable silence. It was only after they had all finished their food that Ned coughed into his hand gaining all their attention. After sharing a small look with Jon that only Catelyn caught he simply stated “Me and Jon have came to a decision.”

“A decision about what” came Robbs curious yet confused reply. 

“Not too long ago I asked Jon what he wished for his name day and he said he wanted to leave” was Ned's blunt reply. 

It was clear to see that everybody besides Ned, Jon, and Rickon, who was more focused on his mother's dress, was shocked by this statement. Robb and Bran looked sad, Sansa was confused, and like Jon thought, Arya had a mixture of both anger and sadness on her face. 

Predictably it was Arya's angered voice that came out first with “Jons leaving!”

Jon was quick to comment hoping to keep Arya from blowing up right there “Just for a while, I wish to see the world to find what's out there.”

That didn't calm her down because she one again yelled this time at him “So it was your decision to leave us!” Though this time her yelling was so loud that Rickon got scared and started to cry. Lady Catelyn was quick to stand up and grab him muttering about putting him to bed as she exited the hall. 

It was Robb that talked this time with a voice tinged with sadness and confusion “Are you sure you wish to leave Jon?”

“Aye” was all Jon said avoiding eye contact by looking at his plate.

Arya then stood up and ran off to her room while crying silently. Robb said that he would be turning in for the night. As Ned dismissed them more for manners sake then anything else Jon decided it would be a good idea to go see Arya and talk to her about things. So Jon headed to her room where he entered without knocking, something that was new to him. He saw Arya laying on her bed face buried in the pillow as she cried. Jon just sat at the edge of her and rubbed her back and let her cry. Eventually she turned her head around to look at him. 

“Why do you have to leave?” she asked weakly. 

“I don't have to leave Arya. I want to” Jon said then quickly elaborated as tears started to form in her eyes again “ It has nothing to do with you little one or any one else. I just want to see the world find out what's out there.” Jon had a small smile as he said the last part.

“You'll come back right?” Arya said hopefully a small spark of light returned to her eyes. 

Jon could help the small smile that bloomed onto his face when he replied “ Of course I will come back. I could never leave my favorite sibling like that.”

“Of course you wouldnt stupid” Arya said before her eyes started to droop and sleep started to settle over her. Jon kissed her forehead as he wished her goodnight before turning off the candles in her room and heading to his so he could get rested before he left in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont really feel like writing Jon leaving the North so i think next chapter will be about how the Starks all settled down after Jon left and how their feeling. The chapter after that Jon will probably either at the neck going into the Riverlands or already there.


	4. Family Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Starks thoughts on Jon leaving.

Chapter 4: Family's Thoughts 

Robb  
It had been two days since Jon left, yet the fact he was gone only just cemented in Robbs mind. When Jon first said he was going to leave he didn't know how to feel. He just felt like he needed to be alone to go over his thoughts. Then sitting there alone in his room that night the first thing he felt was betrayal. He always said Jon would be there to help him when he was Lord of Winterfell and he always meant it. Jon was his brother; he didn't care if he was a bastard he was also a Stark. Since Jon couldn't have a castle to rule himself, no matter how much Robb would want him to have one, he would help him with Winterfell. Robb truly felt like he needed Jon to be here to help him rule, Jon was one of the only people that could stop him from making stupid decisions like he tended to do. He wouldn't lie, he was brash and tended not to really think about consequences when he acted on things, yet he could be because he always had Jon there to back him up. Jon always thought everything out and could advise him on the best way to do things. So yes he felt betrayed he felt like Jon had not only turned his back on him but to all of Winterfell. He left him here to shoulder the entire burden that is ruling Winterfell. 

Robb was so deep in his thoughts that night he didn't even realize it when he fell asleep, he just remembered a servant waking him up telling him his father said to gather in the courtyard. It was there that his family, minus his mother who was taking care of Rickon who couldn't be out in this cold, said their goodbyes to Jon. He was the last one to say his goodbye, Robb honestly expected the betrayal and anger he felt last night to rear its ugly head and ruin his goodbye with his brother yet all he felt at that moment was sadness. His brother was leaving and if the Old Gods decided to curse him never return. He could feel the tears start to well up but he wouldn't let them spil not now at least. 

“Take care of yourself little brother” Robb simply said as he pulled Jon into a hug in a vain attempt to hide his watery eyes from Jon. Though he knew he definitely failed with Jons words. 

“Don't cry brother, I'll be fine you just take care of yourself and become the great Lord I know you can be.” With those parting words Jon hoped onto his horse, a all black 4 year old thoroughbred named Night Swift he got when it was just a year old for his ten-and-one nameday. Jon only turned around once right as he rode past the maingate to wave goodbye before he rode off into the distance toward Wintertown. Robb faintly noticed Arya runoff and as much as he wanted to go comfort her in that moment he knew he needed to go deal with his emotions first, so he went through the motions with a faint detachment as one part of his mind was still on Jons leaving throughout the day. 

So it was now on the second that Jon left that he felt everything settle into place for him. He no longer felt betrayal about Jons leaving now with a clear head he could see where Jons thought process was. He felt this was Jons way of finding himself. For Robb he always knew he was and what he was going to be. He is Robb Stark, future Lord of Winterfell, Warden of the North, and the North's protector. Yet Jon never had those any titles to inherit. Robb truly felt like this was Jons way of going out and finding who he is, that thought is what led to Robb feeling the happiness that he feels, for even though he is sad that Jon will no longer be here with him, one day Jon will come back as a man who has found himself and Robb will be there to welcome him home. Well that is if Robb could survive Theon. Without Jons calming and collected presence Robb could already see how annoying Theon could be at times. 

Sansa  
Sansa didn't really know how to feel right now. She wasn't really happy that Jon was gone but she was excited to hear of his adventures. It was just like those stories her mother used to tell her about. The knight would go around the kingdom saving damsels in distress and defeat the evil bandits that roamed the lands. Jon may even find a woman to marry on his travels. Yes Sansa could see it now Jon would save a noble man's daughter from some bandits and they would fall in love, then the Lord would grant them a small keep to live their lives out happily ever after. 

That thought did bring a small pang of sadness to Sansa's heart. Afterall that would mean that Jon would never come home. Sansa didn't want that, she wanted Jon to come home and be with his family again. Sansa did care for her brother just as any sister would. She was never really close with him sure but she did care for him. Sansa would call him bastard and be mean to him at times but that is what her mother did so it was okay. Afterall her mother was a proper lady and that is how proper ladies should act. Although truth be told she did feel bad at times when she saw Jon wear a dejected look on his face. 

Sansa was not happy that Jon was gone, and the thought of him not coming home did make her feel quite sad. Yet the thought of all the adventures he would have also made the fact he was gone exciting to her. She was very confused about her feelings right now and normally when she was confused about something she would ask the Septa or her mother, yet for a reason she didn't understand that felt like a bad idea. So she decided to do something she hasn't done in a while and go ask her father for his advice. 

Arya  
During a time she didn't know how to feel about Jon leaving, Arya took solace in the fact that she still hated Septa Mordane and her lessons. Septa Mordane’s constant droning also helped keep her mind off her stupid idiot of a big brother. Yet when the Septa's lessons ended and she had nothing to do again her thoughts went right back to the idiot Jon. She still loved him and he was still her favorite brother, but that didn't mean she wasn't mad at him. That idiot left her here while he got to go out and see the world. She was sad that he was gone. He is her favorite brother and she is going to miss him being around. The fact that he came into her room the night before he left and talked to her alone really did help her. 

Yet she was still mad that he left her. She had tried to beg him and her father to let her go with him but they both said she couldn't. It wasn't just their father who said no it was Jon too. Sure she knew they said no to try and protect her but it still pissed her off. She wanted to go with Jon to see the world too, she didnt need to be some stupid proper lady she could be an explorer like Jon was being. Yet the anger she held towards him didn't trump the sadness she felt with the fact he was gone. Jon had always been her pillar whenever she was feeling bad. Whenever she had a bad dream she knew she could go into his room no matter how late it was and he would pull his blankets up and let her crawl into his bed. He always made her feel safe no matter what. Just thinking about him now brought tears to her eyes and she had to use all her will power to stop them from coming out. She would cry late at night in the safety of her own room where no one can hear or see her. 

Though truth be told even the anger and sadness combined couldn't come close to the amount of love she held for her brooding idiot of a brother. She knew how suffocating Winterfell could be to him at times. Between the looks of pity and disgust thrown at him from some servants could wear down on him. She had made it her mission to try to help alleviate his sadness when she came to realise what caused it. So even though she was sad he was gone and angry that he didn't take her with him she was a little happy he could get away. There was also the fact she got him to promise to send letters before he left. That made her more happy than she cares to admit. She can't wait to hear all the stories of peoples arses he kicks. 

Bran  
Bran was sad Jon was gone. Bran loves both Jon and Robb, but Jon had always been his favorite by a little. It was the small things that made Jon his favorite. Like how instead of getting him in trouble when he caught him climbing something he would give him pointers on how to do it better, or when he was helping him practice with a sword he would break each motion down into their most basic forms and tell him the weakness and strength to each stance. Jon had also never once made fun of him when he failed to do something. Not that Robb did, but Robbs friend Theon always would. Theon would mock his dream to become a knight saying he would never be able to use a sword good enough to beat even a pig. Or say he was so scrawny just a tap from a lance would send him flying from his horse during a turney. There were a few times he truly did feel like he wouldn't be good enough, yet Jon was always there to give him his confidence back. 

Jon always told him what he did good and ways to improve. He never made fun of him for his mistakes, just pointed them out and gave him advice in how to improve. Bran was disappointed Jon wouldn't be there any more to help him improve. Yet he also thought it was cool Jon was gonna be able to see the world. It was like Jon was a knight traveling from turney to turney. He honestly couldn't wait for Jon to send the first letter home. 

Ned  
Ned knew Jon would be fine yet he couldn't stop that feeling of dread that seemed to follow him. No matter how many times he pushed that feeling down it seemed to spring back up. He knew he prepared Jon as well as he could, he taught him how to survive in the wilderness long ago on a camping trip he took Jon and Robb to. He also made sure Ser Rodrick gave him extra lessons before he left so he knew he could defend himself, he also made sure Jon had a full pouch of gold dragons so he would have more than enough money to survive out there. It would just seem that his fatherly instincts are stronger than he thought they would be. 

Though he didn't stop the small smile that came onto his face when he remembered how Sansa came into his solar today wondering why she felt so conflicted. Though Ned already knew Sansa did love Jon and was just following her mother's example it was good to see that side of her coming out. It didn't take too long to explain to her what she felt was a worry that Jon would not come back. That it was natural to feel that when someone you care about is leaving. He also told her that the excitement she felt was normal too. That it is common for people to have mixed feelings on subjects. Ned hoped he explained her situation like he wanted to. He was never very good with words. Though he was happy at how his children were taking Jons leaving.   
Robb seemed more motivated and was throwing himself more into his duties. He was also talking to him more about the duties the Lord of Winterfell had. Sansa was getting ober and accepting her mixed feelings on that subject. Arya was calming down and glaring at him less. Bran was starting to talk to people again and not going into himself as much as he has the past few days. Over all things were looking up and people were falling back into the routine. 

Catelyn  
Catelyn would not lie to herself she was quite happy that Jon was gone. The bastard had always been a reminder of how her Lord Husband was unfaithful to her. She had always wanted him to leave, though she truly didn't expect him to leave this way. She expected Ned to foster him out somewhere or send him out to the Night's Watch. She never thought he would just leave and go out into the world. She would also not lie to herself about the fact that she was a little worried for him. After all, as much as she may not like him she would never wish him dead, he was just a child at the end of the day. 

She had wished him dead once years ago and after what befell Jon she swore to never do that again, and she had stayed true to that. She knew how dangerous it could be for a single person to travel all across Westeros let alone if that person was only ten-and-five. News of Jons death would be a horrible thing to get. Catelyn knew her children, especially Arya and Robb would be devastated by that. So even though she is happy he left and she hopes more than anything that he will find something or someone out on his travels and will never come back, she will pray to the Seven that he survives his journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope i did the charecters justice though I feel I could have done Sansa, and Ned better.

**Author's Note:**

> This will start a few years before canon 
> 
> Some charecters will be aged up by time canon comes around


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